Ballerina Food Ideology

In class today, we discussed food as a symbolic means, and the "technology of the self." As we reflected on our own relational transitions with food, I realized how affected my personal relationship with food has shifted throughout the different stages of my life.

Growing up, I was a dedicated ballerina. My studio pressured us into categorizing "good foods" and "bad foods," and to never enjoy the simplicity of fast food and candy, like many other young American children. I lived by the scale, constantly comparing my reflection in the mirror to the tall, slender figures of the professional ballet world. As my pink tights puckered, or when my black leotard tightened around my hips as I went through puberty, I reprimanded myself by obsessing calories, never being able to fully enjoy a plate of pasta or a Taco Bell run. My world revolved around the bare-all pink tights and leotard, and the stigma attached to "bad foods," which many of my high school friends enjoyed.

After graduating high school, I chose to veer away from the ballet path that had previously defined me and my food choices. I felt much more free, much more able to enjoy a meal as a social event, and not a dreaded shame. And, food became even more of a symbol of this freedom. Now, wine and cheese nights are a symbol of separation from the food shackles I left behind when I chose to leave the ballet world.